I’m not saying OJ Simpson beheaded his ex wife and her boyfriend stole oatmeal cookies, what I am saying is IF OJ Simpson  beheaded his ex wife and her boyfriend stole some cookies he’d shove them up his shirt so he could eat them in his cell later on.

This time, O.J. Simpson was caught red-handed.

The former football star is currently serving a 33-year prison sentence for armed robbery, and he apparently has a pretty big sweet tooth. Simpson was recently caught stealing cookies from the chow line by guards in the Nevada prison, the Daily Mail reports.

Guards reportedly saw Simpson trying to hide something underneath his prison clothes as he walked back to his cell after lunch one day and, after further investigation, found that the former USC standout had a stash of “more than a dozen oatmeal cookies,” which were taken away. A source told the National Enquirer that Simpson didn’t seem contrite about his actions.

“O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor,” the source said.

Full article here. 

Freaking OJ.  I love me some oatmeal cookies but really OJ?  A dozen of them?  You fat bastard.