Well that’s just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you’re putting the whole town in jeopardy.

20130911-074503.jpgLowell Sun
WESTFORD — Please don’t feed the bears, ducks, geese, foxes and any other wild animals that may spring to mind.
That’s the gist behind a citizens’ petition that will go before voters at Special Town Meeting in October. One resident has drafted an article that would limit residents’ feeding of animals around town and promises a $50 fine if they don’t follow suit.
Laura Conlee, a wildlife biologist with MassWildlife, explained her reasoning behind some stipulations in the draft, including a ruling that birdfeeders must be taken down within 48 hours by a resident if it is determined to be a “public-safety threat” attracting wildlife to the area. The article states residents may not put out food of any kind as well, including grain, seeds, baked products, salt, meat, honey and molasses, in an attempt to draw animals to their backyards

See what higher taxes gets you? Bears and $50 fines for having bird feeders. Quite frankly, I’ll take gangs and the best of Centralville’s undesirables over bears. The lesson here is obvious. You depart the friendly confines of the Mill City for what you think is better living, and all you get for your troubles is a higher probability of getting eaten or your kid getting a broomstick in his bum at football practice. Lowell 1, Everyone 0. Lowell Wins…again.

PS. Needing an image for this blog had me typing “bear in pool.” The results…well I wasn’t looking for those types of “bears.” Google 1, Dan 0.


4 thoughts on “Well that’s just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you’re putting the whole town in jeopardy.

  1. I think the Bears smell Laura Conlee’s menstruation.

  2. I’m calling bullshit on the google images. I bet that beats photo came straight off the hard drive, you creep.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s