PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — A Maine man who was dragged out of his tent and attacked by a polar bear in a Canadian national park continues to improve at a hospital in Montreal.
Matthew Dyer of Turner, a lawyer for Pine Tree Legal Assistance in Lewiston, was airlifted for treatment after the bear broke through an electrified fence and attacked him early Tuesday.
Dyer’s fellow campers drove the bear off with signal flares.
A hospital spokeswoman told the Portland Press Herald (http://bit.ly/177suIv) that Dyer was in critical but stable condition and showing signs of progress Sunday.
How about this Maniac getting clobbered by a Polar Beer? That’s probably the most un-Maine like thing ever…even if you’re a legal assistant from Lewiston. A real Downeaster would’ve killed it, quartered it, used the rest as a comforter, and done it all with his work boot. Not this guy. How about a little pride, bro!
PS. Pine Tree Legal assistance? That’s a front for a marijuana dispensary, right?
Sons of Franky Cabot 
The Park guys said, “We recommend an armed polar bear guard.” That crew from Maine said, “Thanks, we’re all set.”
If I ever find myself in Labrador, I’m thinking a sentry armed with a box of Tim’s and an AR-15 might be good to have by my side.
Remember what Chris Rock said after the Siegfried & Roy incident? “That tiger didn’t go crazy…that tiger went tiger!”
Bears are real life monsters. I read about some guy up in Alaska that was pulled out of his shower in his cabin and mauled to death in front of his cabin. That all being said, I’d like to pet on just to see what’d be like. What they feel like.