SOFC apology to the Taliban

20130801-083545.jpgLowell Sun Column

Jack Mitchell, a member of the Centralville Neighborhood Action Group Board of Directors, has some explaining to do — at least to fellow board members. In a recent on-line comment, Mitchell mentioned the city’s neighborhood groups and the Taliban in the same sentence, as if they’re synonymous. His choice of words have left some neighborhood activists, including two prominent women from Centralville, searching for an explanation. – See more at:

It is a sad day. All these people lining up to declare how offended they are by droning blog commentary referring to hood’group leaders as “Lowell’s Taliban.” Folks that I didn’t even know existed, popping up demanding apologies. Well, I for one am disgusted. I haven’t heard anyone apologize to the Taliban yet.

Sure, it’s been a rebuilding season for the regime, but that doesn’t mean they’d appreciate being compared to the leaders of the Centralville Neighborhood Group. Aside from lower Bridge Street looking a bit like Kabul, there’s really nothing else in common.
I imagine the Taliban is largely indifferent about what you keep in your back yard…from fowl to mortars. And they would never let a couple of hens speak for the entire neighborhood (pun absolutely intended).

Since it seems nobody else is going to get around to it, I’d like to take this opportunity, on behalf of the Greater Lowell blogging community, to apologize to the Taliban for this ignorant, undeserving assault on their reputation. I can assure you, that as long as this Sheriff is on watch, it will never happen again.

Sincerely Yours,


A piece of advice for pending grooms…

20130730-190429.jpgA simple reminder as we approach the homestretch of Wedding Season….

Photo’s last for forever gentlemen, memories last about 20 minutes into the open bar.
Just because you pay a truckload of money for wedding photography doesn’t mean you have to comply with the photographer’s eye for a “great shot.” These pictures are starting to get embarrassing.

Being a good groom begins and ends with self respect. All it takes is one guy to say “no!” Do it for yourself, and all the chaps the forked over the dough to stand next to you on your big day.

And another thing, weEVERYONE can do without the “bridal party leaping” shot that’s all the rage right now. It does nothing more than single out the chubby bridesmaid with a negative vertical.


Camp Emerson in Hinsdale…is every Dad’s dream.

20130730-154838.jpgWESTPORT, Conn. (AP) — The parents of a 15-year-old Connecticut girl sued a summer camp in Massachusetts on Monday, saying their daughter was kicked out of camp last month after a boy kissed her.
The girl was sent home from Camp Emerson in Hinsdale and a camp official falsely accused her and the boy of sexually provocative behavior, according to the lawsuit filed in Bridgeport Superior Court. It also says she suffers from emotional and psychological disorders including obsessive compulsive disorder.
Neither the girl nor her parents are named in the suit. The boy was also kicked out of camp, said Rosemarie Arnold, attorney for the girl’s family. Sue Lein, the camp director, declined to comment.

Let me see if I have this right. Camp Emerson’s intervention in young “Jane’s” sexual awakening inflicted significant emotional distress, but living with parents who would seek legal intervention in their pursuit of deflowering their child has had no impact at all? Well, then. Why even bother seating a jury? Let’s cut these folks a check and get on with it.

The fact of the matter is that it doesn’t matter how much money Camp Emerson has to fork over to these nut job parents. They’re going to make it up ten-fold by renaming it “Camp Chastity” and bilking terrified Dad’s like myself that are looking for anything short of an electric fence to keep our daughters…”our” daughters. God Bless’em! I’m already looking at plans to build a moat around my next house. From what I can tell it’s only a matter of securing a zoning variance and an excavator rental…and in Lowell, that’s as good as a lay-up. Until then, I’m going to be socking away my Camp Chastity Tuition and organizing a Dad carpool to Hinsdale for a campus visit.

Angst in Centralville!?!


(lifted from the Lowell Sun)

According to last weeks Column Jack Mitchell may be rubbing people the wrong way. My response- And? How’s that news?!? People who fancy themselves as city politicos of all stripes rub each other the wrong way all the time. If Jack Mitchell likened some of the neighborhood activists to the Taliban, so what? Are we really that thinly skinned? As a society, we really are becoming softer than baby shit.

During a recent appearance on WCAP, I referred to one neighborhood leader as a “petty tyrant.” Well, SHE IS! When your actions are intended to suppress an issue from an agenda because you don’t like it, you’re using what little power you have in a tyrannical manner. It’s my right to call her that. It’s her right to go on thinking people should bow to her whims. It’s also your right to make up your own mind and set her straight. Or not. Choice is yours. That’s not for me to decide.

Continue reading

Lesson Learned

20130801-104101.jpgWASHINGTON (AP) – Authorities rescued 105 children who were forced into prostitution and arrested 150 pimps and others in a three-day law enforcement sweep in 76 American cities, the FBI said Monday.

The evil and sadness within this story is infinite. One thing is for certain though, if the FBI didn’t take them down, capitalism would’ve. 150 Pimps overseeing 105 children? I don’t care what business you’re in, that’s a terrible management structure. Far too top heavy. Not everyone can be Goldman Sachs…you’ve got to have balance.

A fella from Maine gets eaten by a Polar Beer.

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — A Maine man who was dragged out of his tent and attacked by a polar bear in a Canadian national park continues to improve at a hospital in Montreal.
Matthew Dyer of Turner, a lawyer for Pine Tree Legal Assistance in Lewiston, was airlifted for treatment after the bear broke through an electrified fence and attacked him early Tuesday.
Dyer’s fellow campers drove the bear off with signal flares.
A hospital spokeswoman told the Portland Press Herald ( that Dyer was in critical but stable condition and showing signs of progress Sunday.

How about this Maniac getting clobbered by a Polar Beer? That’s probably the most un-Maine like thing ever…even if you’re a legal assistant from Lewiston. A real Downeaster would’ve killed it, quartered it, used the rest as a comforter, and done it all with his work boot. Not this guy. How about a little pride, bro!

PS. Pine Tree Legal assistance? That’s a front for a marijuana dispensary, right?

Well that clinches it …


There you go. Case closed. The defense rests. “Best Folk Fest in 10 years.” How can you argue with those numbers?

Ps. Most underrated part of following people’s Folk Fest experience via social media is everyone thinking their creative use of the word “folk” is some Eddie Murphy Delirious type stuff. “We’re all Folked up”. “This is Folking amazing.” “I think someone just Folked
in the upstairs bathroom at the Worthen.” Rich stuff.