Back Off in #Haiku. 10/23/14.



Cellphone addiction.
That’s the real problem with cops.
More than birds angry.

Starbucks sells donuts.
That’s why you see police there.
Jaywalkers roam free.

Garry raised taxes.
They were part of the budget.
No budget should pass.

Whole world up in flames.
I’m blaming phones and games.
Old homes aren’t wired right.

69 years old.
More fires than I’ve ever seen.
Tragedy surrounds.

Lally article.
Bringing good shows to the Aud.
Happy to see that.

Sound Off

[Scott Brown rerun]
[They ran this one yesterday]
[Exact wording]

Gamblers dress nicely.
Seniors risking their pensions?
Straight up poppycock.

Casino hookers?
Never seen any such thing.
Not tolerated.

Casino traffic?
Not if they’re open all night.
Folks go broke in shifts.

Casino crime rates?
Absolutely zero zilch.
Your laws are the crime.

Suddenly pro-draft.
Discipline the rioters.
Give them M-16’s.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/22/14.


[Please note: the above image does not contain a translation from either paper. I thought for sure I'd be able to use it, but all of the callers have disappointed me. It is however a translation of something Scott Brown said.]


Taxpayers boycott.
No more money for Chelmsford.
We want Arty T.

Don’t elect judges.
Just makes more politicians.
Species unwanted.

Ground war on ISIS
The only way to win there.
Nip it in the bud.

Mayor Elliot.
Insisting we need more cops.
Too many details.

Sound Off

Rep. DiZoglio.
Crying about attack ads.
PACs unconnected.

Trampling Timberland school board.
Nancy needs to go.

Money devalued.
Inflation only growing.
Cancels gas price drops.

Right wing campaign ads.
Need to mention illegals.
Bunch of other shit.

Ebola panic.
Bush spent tons of dough on war.
Not much on borders.

No carpetbagger.
Brown is a multistate man.
Just like you and me.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/21/14.



Gas prices will rise.
Doubling on November 5th.
The left runs Big Oil.

Chelmsford grows poorer.
Let them beg for old pennies.
Stand at Peasants Pain.

Billerica council.
Newbs asking what people want.
Rightfully dope slapped.

Enough donut jokes.
Cops deserve better than that.
Hypocritic hack.

Elderly crosswalk.
Shouldn’t be at top of hill.
Both sides clearly blind.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/20/14.



Meter ripped me off.
Overcharged and gave short change.
Drive further to walk.

Fox News simplistic.
Ev’rything is black and white.
And they don’t like black.

Gas prices get votes.
Then they friggin skyrocket.
Ballots aren’t coupons.

Endorsements ain’t shit.
I don’t care who your friends are.
That’s not why I vote.

Mayor Elliot.
Represents Lowell proudly.
Pelham’s fav’rite son.

Sound Off

Suck it up Plaistow.
Without Haverhill you’re nothing.
Strip mall cork sniffers.

Ebola spreading.
Obamacare cover that?
[pretty sure it does]

Ebola invades.
I’m moving to an island.
No diseases there.

Spanish teacher’s pay:
Fifty thousand annual.
Should just use Google.

Hired his wife to teach Spanish.
Not really needed.

Transgender taxes.
Illegals taking my guns.
November come soon.

All vote party line.
No matter what the issue.
Piddling on our rights.

“One Percent” ain’t thieves.
They work harder than you do.
You lazy bastards.

The Last Good Pumpkin Fest

Keene NH PumpkinFest 2013 (Frank Zappa, City of T…: 

I went to the Keene Pumpkin Festival last year. It really wasn’t what I was expecting, outside of the thousands of pumpkins part. I was kind of expecting that. But for some reason I was expecting a truly painful foodfight. That didn’t happen. Instead I got a ferris wheel, reasonable souvenir prices, a nice crowd, and helpful cops. When the count was done all of the pumpkins that weren’t claimed were thrown into dumpsters for that purpose by a couple hundred volunteers. What went wrong this year? Was it the Free Staters? Had the pumpkins fermented? Was it that Mercury Retrograde thing? Probably.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/18/14



Police eat donuts.
Ignore all the jaywalkers.
Wah wah bitch bitch bitch.

Dracut school buses.
Officials ignore long rides.
Yellow sardine cans.

Mental health issues.
Mike Dukakis tried to help.
Insufficient beds.

Brady Mom favored.
Thinks it’s all on-job training.
Truth might lie elsewhere.

Sound Off

Haverhill’s gone down hill.
Rude drivers and real bad smells.
Higher taxes don’t help.

Blaming Obama?
The world you want costs money.
Blame those who hoard it.

Pastors in Texas.
Having their sermons censored.
The Prez hates Jesus.

Yay Hobby Lobby.
For protecting our freedoms.
Companies have faith.

Dems hate the workers.
They’re all about welfare now.
Poor folks are lazy.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/17/14.



Four-wheeler stolen.
The toy kind out in Townsend.
Call cops with all leads.

Massholes flying north.
New Hampshire so much cheaper.
Longer commute though.

Violence ev’rywhere.
We’re surrounded by chaos.
Apocalypse now.

We should have more guns.
That should cut back on stabbings.
Fist fights hurt my hands.