Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 16-21, 2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]


Sanity questioned.
Economic scene is bad.
I’ve seen better days.

Hillary Clinton.
Liar liar pants on fire.
Is it nap time yet?

Food prices are up.
Ostriches might not know that.
Are you an ostrich?

Give them a whole week.
Veterans deserve better.
A day is too small.

CORI got reversed.
Supposed to hire those who pass.
Chelmsford got it wrong.


Climate change ain’t bad.
Terrorism’s a worse threat.
Stupid President.

Local news paper.
Focused on local stories.
I’m so offended.

Transgender restrooms.
Good for dads with young daughters.
Can’t leave them outside.

Expensive survey.
Told us what we always knew.
Workplace drama sucks.


A pressure cooker.
He said it was a Crockpot.
Stupid President.

Show his ass the door.
He needs to leave that house now.
Stupid President.

Called it “a setback”?
I’d call it “an act of war.”
Stupid President.

Cops don’t get along.
They just don’t see eye-to-eye.
Let Springsteen write it.

Back roads are speedways.
Moved out here to leave that shit.
Truckers in a rush.

Student loans do suck.
But that isn’t my problem.
Let Clintons pay them.

Veterans Parade.
We have parades all year round.
Why not one for them?

Religion is weird.
Fake religions are weirder.
I hate spaghetti.


Big shoes must be filled.
A clown will be leaving soon.
Pelham’s fav’rite son.

Town taxes are high.
The auditor disagrees.
He’s an idiot.

Marty Meehan spends.
Then complains about low funds.
Stop drinking the rent.

Go through Mexico.
Easiest way to the states.
Works for Mexicans.

Food costs are lower.
Just depends on where you go.
We like DeMoulas.


They don’t want refuge.
Marathon bombers didn’t.
Wake-up call needed.

No more agendas.
This country needs more safety.
Stop being a Dem.

Moulton didn’t think.
His words could lead to more deaths.
Can’t respect this Vet.

On the lighter side:
Charlie Sheen has HIV.
That’s a knee-slapper.

Let’s destroy ISIS.
Get ev’ry last one of them.
Weak ass President.


Cops don’t get along.
Paperwork being shuffled.
Drama gone public.

Twenty-five thousand.
More spent further in the red.
Can’t find the receipt.

I like her column.
But don’t care what she’s wearing.
She can leave that out.

Trump’s an honest man.
Not professional at all.
Couldn’t be simpler.

FDR was wrong.
Minimum wage jobs aren’t real.
Stupid President.

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 9-14th, 2015.


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a couple of newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]


Vote on Saturday.
More people would show up then.
Unless it’s nice out.

Election workers.
All did a wonderful job.
Nice and supportive.

Pave the overpass.
Everything else came out nice.
Bridges are crumbling.

Lowell Registry.
Less pleasant than dental work.
A very bad trip.

Pretty juvenile.
We know you don’t like the Prez.
But be an adult.


Supportive comments.
Beautiful positive thoughts.
Rainbows and puppies.

I’m a freethinker.
Just like my party tells me.
You guys are all sheep.

Lanes should be painted.
Let me know when to leave this road.
Marketing can wait.

Housing Director.
Shows up and puts in his day.
Last guy never did.

Michelle down in circ.
Got me back on some kid’s route.
Paperboys hate me.


I could do that job.
And I’m a crazy old guy.
Come change my diaper.

All pipelines are bad.
Not just the one in your yard.
I need a Keystone.

Thank all of our vets.
Ballsiest mofos out there.
Make sure they get fed.

Bush was a nightmare.
All is better with Barrack.
Women have rights now.

I agree with that guy.
Nothing for me to say here.
He got that thing right.

Demo-rats all suck.
Country’s just going to hell.
I like name calling.


I don’t wanna work.
Let me hide behind the flag.
I hate immigrants.

Give ’em all a turn.
Let each of them be mayor.
Gavels mean nothing.

I like veterans.
Bunch of brave motherfuckers.
Buy them each a beer.

Lowell hates my kids.
Street paving blocked my driveway.
They’re going to starve.

Santa’s silhouette.
Lit up City Hall’s clockface.
Bring him back to us.

Freshman volleyball.
The girls didn’t lose one game.
Lowell High kicks ass.


Underlings are rude.
The Chief does all that he can.
Blame the officers.

Surveys costs too much.
Manager should do his job.
Witch hunts shouldn’t fly.

Low pay fast food jobs.
Manufacturing is gone.
Things have gotten worse.

Golfer moving up.
Makes ten grand in a weekend.
No cheap beers for him.

Street lights are needed.
Police parking lot is dark.
Lives are being risked.

Stupid do-gooders.
Always trying to do good.
Don’t help me any.

Back Off in #Haiku. Nov 2-7, 2015.



Cops should give tickets.
To drivers who piss me off.
They could make millions.

New Hampshire roadways.
All of them are beautiful.
All without taxes.


Socialism’s face:
Medicaid is like the nose.
Pretty obvious.

Not socialism.
People pay into those things.
Even if it’s small.

Honest ones respectable.
Learn from these losses.


Keep on Benghazi.
Never ever let it go.
Hold it close and tight.

Live from Los Ranchos.
Mental health concerns ignored.
Take the phone away.

New Hampshire gas dough.
Doesn’t get wasted on hacks.
They can afford roads.

Cops should wear whistles.
Use them to direct traffic.
More noise is pleasant.


You’re funding others.
Later the young support you.
That’s socialism.

Prob’ly never served.
Calling our vets socialists?
You’re a dumb coward.

Fix condemned buildings.
Give to working-age homeless.
Help those who need help.

This town needs more bikes.
Too many fat folks in cars.
Clogging roads and veins.


Find anything yet?
Spending lots of time on her.
Should prob’ly move on.

I don’t like those guys.
They lean too far to the left.
That means they’re morons.

Don’t educate vets.
These are state schools we’re talking.
Way too expensive.

Thanksgiving shopping.
Greed is insufferable.
Stay home at my place.

Let me choose my time.
Let me get to say “good-bye.”
Two cents from the heart.


Avoid copper foods.
Then Wilson’s disease won’t hurt.
Please don’t kill yourself.

Lib’ral media.
Only media out there.
[posted in The Sun].

They’re not the same thing.
Socialists don’t ever work.
Capitalists do.

JoAnn O’Brien.
Makes elections run smoothly.
Non-voters are lame.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/26-31/15



Great Wall of Chelmsford.
Needed to keep out the thieves.
Value the missing.

Yelling ‘Benghazi.’
Something something Clinton bitch.
Please listen to me.

My mornings start late.
All of these trucks confuse me.
Are they there all night?

More driving problems.
Calling Backtalk at red lights.
This is important.

Clich├ęs can be fun.
Pigs will never really fly.
Peace is for losers.

I heart sarcasm.
But does it come across here?
Your baby is cute.

Police on cellphones.
While driving quickly down roads.
Rules aren’t for the blue.

Electric went up.
After I got a panel.
Shit just don’t make sense.

High bills hurt poor folks.
Just pointing it out for you.
Can we work on that?

We need more options.
Cable is my only life.
I can’t just unplug.


Lower speed limit.
Energy will be preserved.
Less death is good too.

Drivers are crazy.
Big Dig tunnel falls apart.
Too many loose screws.

Don’t overlook faults.
Boobs alone won’t get my vote.
Trump is qualified.

New safety feature:
Cellphones shut off when moving.
Carnage needs to go.


ACLU fights.
But not for gun fanatics.
We need an org too.

Kids knocking on doors.
Begging for field trip money.
Panhandlers are bred.

Death with dignity.
Here’s my dignified response:
Losers need to stop.

He’ll kill your grandma.
And tell you she wanted it.
Obama’s evil.

Hate socialism?
Don’t collect “your” Medicare.
Practice what you preach.


Meat causes cancer.
I still want my nice and rare.
Veggies are a hoax.

Walgreens bought Rite Aid.
Drugstore monopoly soon.
Government has failed.

Dress up as a Dem.
Take candy to give away.
Make same joke next year.

Gronk should cut that out.
Kids in China don’t have footballs.
A terrible waste.


Obama was worse.
No matter what Sanders might do.
They’re both socialists.

Classroom cop was right.
Kids should always do as told.
Put your phones away.

High school athletics.
Some of these kids are losers.
Don’t deserve to play.

Witch hunt wasn’t waste.
Healthcare is a massive scam.
Complicated math.

Not socialism.
If it helps me out it’s good.
Socialism bad.


Views on kids’ costumes?
That’s a question for debates?
No shits are given.

Five million dollars.
Spent on a senseless witch hunt.
By those who fly brooms.

Synchronized lighting.
We could use that on Bridge Street.
I’ll get home some day.

Fantasy football.
As much gambling as horses.
Just study the odds.

Moderators ask.
That’s what they are paid to do.
Answer carefully.

Back Off in #Haiku. 10/19-24/15.



RMV workers.
Good reason to use website
Robots are nicer.

8:20 packout.
Event went to 8:30.
Families left cold.

Overzealous Prez.
Trampling the Constitution.
Out to get my guns.


Things getting stolen.
Custodians are to blame.
Privatizing failed.

Self-inflicted ills.
The fault lies with the patient.
Includes fat smokers.

Debates too early.
I’ll be stuck in traffic then.
Will catch recordings.

Hillary flip flops.
No better than Mitt Romney.
Clearly bi-poller.

Traffic lights not synched.
High school buses standing still.
Walkers move faster.


Big ass donation.
Seems like a pretty nice guy.
Tuition is high.

The First Amendment.
We don’t need a spokesperson.
Meetings might go long.

Townline markers off.
Chelmsford isn’t in Lowell.
Other way around.

How much money did they lose?
Reports not released.

Rushing the shooter.
The brave and right thing to do.
Libtards are cowards.


Nat Grid screwed me big.
Tripled bill while I was gone.
Thieves on the meter.

I’m no socialist.
I’m leaving the Dems behind.
They’re no Kennedys.

Neighbors to the north.
Hoping we’ll save their asses.
They should learn to fight.

One thousand Trumpers.
Able to find Tyngsboro.
Didn’t expect that.

Lots of driving laws.
If you don’t like them don’t drive.
Cars are dangerous.

Stop making demands.
You’re a guest in this country.
Welcome overstayed.

Kids don’t need candy.
I’ll be giving out pencils.
Adding up their teeth.


Temp workers steal stuff.
Make them feel like they belong.
Hire them directly.

Halloween costume.
Dress like a Republican.
Steal candy from kids.

Platform based on race.
“I’ll help all Cambodians.”
Should help all of us.

Lecture series changed.
Not just lightweight fam’ly stuff.
Questioning choices.

Back Off in #Haiku. Sept 14-19th, 2015


[Please note: These haiku are translated from angry anonymous messages published in a newspaper in northeast Massachusetts, USA. The Sons of Franky Cabot are not responsible for whatever the point of the original messages might have been.]


Not from my pockets.
I’m not paying for long hours.
Stupid firefighters

Rose colored glasses.
Cost like three or four dollars.
Try Pips in Pelham.

I can’t find The Prez.
He’s never in the news now.
He should wear a hat.

They would lose their job.
Anybody but this broad.
Why is she special?

Taxes pay college.
Why does this keep happening?
We get nothing back.


Decent article.
Shed light on high school football.
A town embarrassed.

Big store kept in loop.
Taxpayers remain ignored.
Priorities off.

Off with all their heads.
Start from scratch with new captains.
Learn to answer phones.

Two sets of standards.
Based on one’s ethnicity.
Not on the level.

Too many here now.
We don’t need more immigrants.
Voting against it.

He had a walk light.
Shouldn’t have gotten struck down.
A driver at fault.


New houses cost us.
Kids get schooled and things burn.
Littleton goes big.

We’re all sick of it.
He’s sick of reporting it.
A job needs doing.

Lower case letters.
Street signs now harder to read.
Not helping old folks.

George is more than paint.
An unselfish man who reps.
Show some gratitude.


Papi in the hall.
A first-ballot guarantee.
Strength without steroids.

I liked the 50’s.
Hogan’s Heroes and others.
Nuzzink is dated.

Back on heroin.
Easier to get than clean.
No ride to clinic.

Respect animals.
Jail all neglectful owners.
Stick their nose in it.

Stop changing our streets.
You’re only making things worse.
Firetrucks turned around.


Chelmsford coverup.
Athletes behaving poorly.
Coaches should be gone.

Carly’s beating Donald.
More substance and less soundbites.
The rest don’t make sense.

Debates on cable.
Not all of us get cable.
Put them on broadcast.

Taxing state pensions.
Use that to pay tuitions.
Seems simple to me.


Money spent on junk.
Should have used it for a cab.
Methadone was there.

Lack of cab money.
Weak excuse from weak people.
Heroin has costs.

Nobody stormed City Hall.
We were organized.

Pot is now legal.
E-cigs facing law changes.
My world is backwards.

Cops are overpaid.
Week’s pay in one short detail.
At least work all day.

We can’t afford them.
No more immigrants for us.
We’ve done our fair share.

Back Off in #Haiku. Sept 7-12th, 2015



Two career options.
Both so splendidly crooked.
Choose schools or housing.

Dunkin Donuts yard.
Cleanest one on ev’ry block.
Like cows all graze there.

Ted Dibiase:
“Ev’rybody’s got a price.”
Washington proves it.

Speed trap on Douglas.
That would be a dream come true.
Pay for a new rink.

Get over yourself.
Not ev’ryone’s on welfare.
Your cross can come down.

New town flag design.
Can’t take it seriously.
Looks ridiculous.


Our flag looks just fine.
The new design is horrid.
I’ve been here a while.

On hundred eighty.
Number of school days required.
Let’s get ’em started.

Dracut Public Works.
Cleaned corner after one call.
Roads are visible.

Do something useful:
Face tattoos for pedophiles.
Don’t be too lenient.

Get the story right.
McKinley wasn’t renamed.
Denali came home.


Cars parked on sidewalks.
No tickets on the windshields.
Puts kids on the streets.

Neighborhood schools work.
I got smart in one of them.
Have a nice house now.

Friendlier servers.
Dunkins on the Freeman Trail.
Really worth the ride.

Change up the stories.
All the news shows are reruns.
Find a new scandal.


Classrooms wicked hot.
City Hall air conditioned.
Nothing surprising.

Stop blocking the stands.
We came to watch some football.
Those are our grandsons.

Douglas Road Speedway.
Nobody’s doing 30.
Go give some tickets.

Kudos to Howe Tours.
Point out all the classic sites.
Damn good memories.


No more refugees.
Other countries should help out.
We’ve given plenty.

Refugees invade.
Look what happened to the Greeks.
Tell them they should fight.

Democrat mansions.
That’s where we should house them all.
Not in my backyard.

Incredibly powerful.
Prob’ly on steroids.

Children in hot schools.
Officials didn’t help much.
Piss would be better.

Red Sox woke up late.
Sometime around late August.
Winter is coming.