Back Off in #Haiku. 8/22/14.

image

Supposedly today marks the end of the Market Basket saga, meaning I’ll only have it as my main source of material from the Lawrence paper for another week or two. I’m happy for the workers, don’t get me wrong there. But the downtown traffic changes didn’t hold up their end of local interest among the cranks. No wonder The Sun hasn’t bothered to run Backtalk since Monday.

Sound Off

Cops can’t be soldiers.
Posse Comitatus Act says so.
Stop invading us.

Workers petty fight.
Don’t drag my ass into it.
Listen to Deval.

The Board killed the chain.
Not what they were hired to do.
They suck at this job.

Those bashing workers.
First thru the door when this ends.
Give them a high-five.

CEOs are whipped.
Do what you say or close up.
[backseat quarterback]

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/21/14.

image

[3 days without Backtalk. Lawrence picking up the slack though.]

Sound Off

MB Anarchy.
I wouldn’t hire any of you.
Damn rabble rousers.

Smoke weed and rob stores.
Some folks learn that in grade school.
They should all be shot.

Employees are rude.
I’m just trying to buy food.
Unprofessional.

Benefits outrage.
Military losing theirs.
Illegals get more.

Ferguson riots.
Not about police issues.
It’s Obama’s fault.

Back Off in #Haiku. 8/20/14.

image

[No Backtalk again. Just the Lawrence paper. I'm really starting to suspect that The Board is using all it's free time to call a newspaper whine line in Lawrence.]

Sound Off

Employees greedy.
Fighting for their “fair wages.”
And “humane treatment.”

Workers are greedy.
Work is the right thing to do,
They won’t do what’s right.

Current workers dumb.
Let the smarter workers fight.
They’ll be here some day.

Immigrant children.
Being used as human pawns.
Pawns with Ebola.

We need more one-ways.
There’s no stores down here to lose.
It’s kinda messy.
-Haverhill

Has there ever been a hotter summer look than the Facekini?

Women balaclava style face masks at a beach, Qingdao, Shandong Province, China - 14 Aug 2014

Women balaclava style face masks at a beach, Qingdao, Shandong Province, China - 14 Aug 2014

The Guardian

Swimmers in the eastern Chinese city of Qingdao have already made waves on the internet for their bizarre swimming gear: colourful, full-face masks. Dubbed ‘facekini,’ the fabric masks cover a swimmer’s entire head and neck down to the collar bones. Holes are cut for eyes, nostrils and mouth

Women balaclava style face masks at a beach, Qingdao, Shandong Province, China - 14 Aug 2014

Not since my buddy Dunny  (@PistoffIrishman) unleashed the Doc Martin/Coorduroy Pant Summer Collection down at Seabrook Beach, has the high fashion industry been turned on its head like this.

A flummoxed yet intrigued Tim Gunn reading this blog.

A flummoxed yet intrigued Tim Gunn reading this blog.

The Facekini is the answer to all your summer worries.  Did you neglect to do a couple sit-ups during your winter hibernation…aka you’re looking all frumpy and fat as shit?  No worries, throw on a Facekini.   Ordinarily, I’m one in a sea of muffin tops, sucking-in as I stroll the beach at low tide.  When I put on my electric facekini, the beach bunnies take notice.  I’m the mysterious, sexy guy sending out the vibes, flooding more coastal basements than a tropical storm…and that’s even before I tame the waves with an epic body surfing sesh’.

Say what you will about the Chinese, but they’re clearly best in class when it comes to stamping out self-confidence issues.  Take for example this strapping lad who appears to be housing China’s nuclear arsenal in his swimming trunks…heads up Hawaii.

chinesedefense

 

Back Off in Haiku. 8/19/14.

image

Sound Off

All of us have rights.
To protest and shop elsewhere.
Standing up is good.

Lower management.
They should be the first to go.
Art T should grow balls.

Why aren’t they fired yet?
They’re not doing their damn job.
I would have been fired.

One store at a time.
Find the workers who won’t work.
Fire them on the floor.

Good while it lasted.
But Art T ain’t the boss now.
Let the cousins fight.

Time to start over.
Art T can open a chain.
Workers will follow.

[no Backtalk today]

Back Off in Haiku. 8/18/14.

image

Sound Off

Paving completed.
Give or take massive pot hole.
Sidewalks will crumble.

Noise ordinances.
They are there for all of us.
Police will enforce.

I’m an old person.
Never told my boss what to do.
MB kids should learn.

Food shopping is fun.
All these wonderful new stores.
I’m way too happy.

Proactive police.
That isn’t what I’m seeing.
Arrest people NOW!!!

Backtalk

Art and Art should hug.
Just hug each other tightly.
Jesus would hug them.

Chickens and roosters.
Keeping Frank awake all night.
That’ll drive you nuts.

Competing health cares.
Not enough hugs in the world.
Those things just spread germs.

Traffic officers.
They should have reflective gloves.
And watch out for cars.

Backtalk and Sound Off. 8/16/14.

image

Sound Off

Let’s let the kids smoke.
They can do ev’rything else.
Like get abortions.

Not taking a stand.
Don’t see it as our battle.
Just want cheaper food.

Art S. will sell out.
Then the prices will go up.
Support the workers.

Take the damn signs down.
Get some restraining orders.
Enough with the games.

Too much noise out there.
We don’t need all the sirens.
Just serenity.

Methuen’s messed up.
Taxes increase ev’ry year.
Who voted for this?

Backtalk

Kool Aid aisle 4.
Arthur T. handing it out.
Break time is over.

Enough with the threats.
Put money where your mouth is.
Sell it to Art T.

Deval should stay out.
Here’s the secret he’s hiding:
Wife works for Art S.
-Everybodyalreadyknowsville

Big boardroom secrets.
Bring him back and fire again.
I don’t think that’s right.

Not trusting Deval.
Only Art T. is worth hearing.
Consummate that deal.

Managers move up.
Glad they promote from within.
But why only dudes?

Art T. or nothing.
Arthur T above The Board.
I want Art T. back.