Back Off in #Haiku. Feb 15-21.

image

Backtalk. Sunday. 2/15/15.

Social programs help.
Much more than buckets of sand.
Buy your own bucket.

Cancel vacation.
There’s been too many snow days.
April isn’t far.

Plows are doing great.
I don’t care about whiners.
I can see pavement.

Kids shoveled out coach.
While he was hospitalized.
Says lots about them.

Chelmsford High hockey.
The students gave of themselves.
Great demonstration.

Sound Off. Monday. 2/16/15.

Jeb Bush is sexist.
His own dad won’t vote for him.
No chance of winning.

Only embellished.
Not sure about intentions.
Don’t judge him just yet.

Hillary lied too.
When she said she was shot at.
Don’t trust anyone.

Good luck Lester Holt.
The network is fully screwed.
Williams lied for Prez.

Stop plowing the school.
I like to watch drivers slide.
Cars collide slowly.

Mail boxes knocked down.
Five on one small cul de sac.
Dedicated skill.

Neighbors cleared hydrants.
Shoveled out space to work in.
Three feet all around.

Old Russian Jesus.
Wasn’t Libertarian.
That was Rand’s Jesus.

Backtalk: Tuesday. 2/17/2015

Charging a trash fee?
Property tax covers that.
Broke on fixed income.

McNamara’s good.
But the tax shouldn’t happen.
I’ll miss that nice man.

No forced volunteers.
Pay teachers to cover prom.
Or do it yourself.

Not that inspiring.
Swimsuit models don’t inspire.
They just show their butts.

Downtown anchor store.
LL Bean would bring folks in.
I’d stay there all day.

“Thought of the Day” thing.
Why did you stop running that?
Found it inspiring.

Sound Off. Wednesday.

Papers beat TV.
Newspapers give more details.
Distant visions lack.

Layover station.
Leads to lower house values.
Pollution won’t sell.

Moms should stop texting.
Especially when driving.
Kids need attention.

Bashing Fifty Shades.
Made big bank despite reviews.
Critics mean nothing.

Humor helps marriage.
I honestly think it does.
That’s all I’m saying.

Delivery guys.
Risking lives for your pizza.
Gratuities earned.

Putin ain’t that bad.
The Prez just keeps starting shit.
Fault lies with his moves.

Backtalk: 2/18/2015. Wednesday.

“Kerouac at falls.”
Do a Google image search.
Don’t think Enel has.

Opiate issues.
Economy a factor.
Looking for escape.

God’s snow machine.
He should call a mechanic.
Kill switch is gunked up.

Olympic shov’ling.
We’ve all been practicing hard.
We’ve all made the team.

Jon Stewart leaving.
More credible than “real” news.
No voice for the young.

Sand and salt the hills.
They need it more than the flats.
Main roads should come first.

Stolen pocketbook.
Returned by the Post Office.
Top that, UPS.

Backtalk: 2/19/2015

Move to New Hampshire.
That’s what bad plowing looks like.
Whining is useless.

Business does better.
Cupples Square works together.
Centralville should learn.

Trash assessment “fee.”
Call it a tax like it is.
No more playing games.

My boss is a jerk.
Won’t pay to get the roof swept.
Unsafe conditions.

Tax trash for teachers?
Or someone’s gonna walk out?
Can’t say I’ll miss him.

Lowell Sun webcam.
Glad to see that it’s working.
Now please clean the lens.

Reagan did good things.
But Ted K helped the workers.
Ronnie not so much.

Heroin’s gone now.
Eradicated by cops.
Just in Tewksbury.

Sound Off. Saturday. 2/21/15.

Reid and Pelosi.
Called our own soldiers evil.
Victories wasted.

My great-grandparents.
Moved here from Armenia.
Muslim invasion.

DeflateGate still on.
People keep bringing it up.
Please print the finding.

Layover NIMBYs.
Don’t know the EPA rules.
They can’t idle long.

Use prison labor.
Much cheaper than current rate.
No hope for new Gov.

Sick of the critics.
Mayor and Gov just took oath.
Give them a minute.

 

Back Off in #Haiku. 2/9/15-2/14/15

image

(SoFC file photo)

Backtalk: Monday. 2/9/2015

Billerica Center.
Simolaris was to blame.
Now attacking schools.

City sent letters.
Telling us to clear sidewalks.
Public ones untouched.

Streets become wider.
Glad to see that happening.
Not much else to say.

Business ownership.
All OT and no bennies.
Better off bagging.

Lowell should use sand.
But we just can’t afford it.
Blame social programs.

Lucas is hacky.
“Benghazi” and “Cherokee.”
Formulaic hate.

Israel’s president.
Crimes against humanity.
Charges should be pressed.

Sound Off. 2/9/15.

I helped someone out.
You might want to do the same.
Really does feel good.

Pat’s fans hypocrites.
Still cry about Giant’s wins.
YOU get over it.

Timberlane meeting.
Limited rebuttal time.
Questions unanswered.

Superintendent.
Says the schools are looking good.
Most would disagree.

Screw your sidewalk fines.
Make the plowers do their job.
Light snow falls softly.

Sound Off. Tuesday. 2/10/15

Pro death penalty.
Just makes economic sense.
‘specially for kids.

Crusades were just.
Obama supports Islam.
Enough with Iran.

Baker’s mixed cabinet.
I’m an older democrat.
I think he did fine.

Liberal media.
Don’t provide any context.
Many things happen.

Don’t change in public.
And keep an eye on your watch.
Purses get stolen.

Backtalk. 2/10/15.

Don’t send me letters.
Just help me with the damn snow.
Help out your elders.

I’m 77.
Plows push back all that I move.
Assistance required.

Radio Shack gone.
Great sorrow fills many hearts.
Their prices were good.

Penultimate play.
An unexpected movement.
A jump or a push?

Sound Off. Wednesday. 2/11/15.

Barb’ra Anderson.
Right wing paranoid rambling.
Batshit A.D.D.

Oughta be a law.
Can’t drive during driving ban.
Penalties and shit.

Snow flies from car roofs.
Dangerous and illegal.
[also don’t tailgate].

That Mr. Campbell.
Condescending doo doo head.
We’ve studied this shit.

Blaming illegals.
They’re the reason for measles.
Not anti vaxxers.

Backtalk: 2/11/2015

Pulpits live in fear.
Political correctness.
Like The Prez wanted.

We need Pete Lucas.
Never forget Benghazi.
Value honesty.

That guy thinks he’s right.
Keeps removing managers.
The problem is him.

Electric bill up.
Seniors need a stop to this.
Must not continue.

Sound Off. Thursday, 2/12/15.

Montana’s better.
Won all his games easily.
Kickers won for Tom.

Brian Williams lied.
Sorry to hear about that.
Others did the same.

Need senior housing.
I know a great place for it.
Don’t know who owns it.

Climate change is true.
But is it reversible?
Can’t unring a bell.

Timberlane meeting.
Education supporters.
Present and vocal.

Obama’s a wuss.
King Abdullah kicked some ass.
Praise that Muslim king.

Backtalk: 2/12/2015

Lowell adult ed.
Great program with great people.
Well deserved credit.

Snowblowers aimed wrong.
Throwing it back into streets.
Roads remain covered.

Delay school instead.
No need to fully cancel.
Only Lowell does this.

Local snow totals.
Billerica was unmentioned.
Concord reads The Sun?

Senior citizens:
Through chill the pills for our ills.
Living to pay bills.

Backtalk. Friday the 13th.

Snow distribution.
Some folks have to shovel more.
Blaming The City.

Winter tailgating.
Speeding down half-plowed highways.
Relax and you’ll live.

Tennis Plaza Road.
Sixty units are leaking.
Winter came fiercely.

Enforce parking bans.
Otherwise they mean nothing.
Streets are all crowded.

Backtalk: 2/14/2015. Saturday.

Cars are parked poorly.
On both sides and near corners.
Towing should occur.

Dave Conway’s letter.
Patted ev’ryone on the back.
Never said ’bout what.

National Grid guys.
Awesome job clearing Worthen.
Thank you all for that.

MBTA boss.
Took the fall due to gender.
Clearly Baker’s fault.

Make the poor shovel.
Why should seniors deal with this?
Earn your welfare check.

Sorry Puerto Rico, but you’re not quite lottery material.

http://youtu.be/igDuYyvyrGw

Boston.com

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — Tickets in North Carolina, Puerto Rico and Texas have matched all six numbers to split a $564.1 million Powerball jackpot, lottery officials said Thursday.

Sue Dooley, senior drawing manager and production coordinator for the Multi-State Lottery Association, said the Puerto Rico ticket was the first Powerball jackpot winner ever sold outside the continental United States.

Puerto Rico joined Powerball less than a year ago. Besides 44 states and Washington, D.C., the game is also played in the Virgin Islands, but there has never been a jackpot winner there, Dooley said.

The Texas Lottery posted on Twitter early Thursday that one of the winning tickets was sold at Appletree Food Mart in Princeton, Texas. There was no immediate information on the cities or stores that produced the winners in North Carolina or Puerto Rico.

Puerto Rico?  WTF?  When did this happen?  Like it’s one thing to tell us that we’re probably going to be splitting the jackpot with at least four other methheads from some of those states that were invented just to prolong slavery.  But it’s another thing to throw the Puerto Rico’s and the Guam’s of the world into the mix all willy-nilly at the last minute and think that nobody will notice.  I for one would have strategized differently.

But more importantly, allowing Puerto Rico to participate in Powerball is against the spirit of the lottery.  Besides that fact that they’re not really a state, lottery jackpots are intended for really downtrodden, desperate losers so we can be assured that their winnings make it back into the economy in the form of dirt bikes for all their buddies.  At that, I’ve never met a downtrodden, desperate Puerto Rican in my life.  They’re like the happiest people on earth.  They’re a piously devout, family oriented tribe of people.  They seem to live each day like its Saturday, and they can turn a mid-summer, gridlocked traffic jam into a Reggaeton dance-off with nothing more than a 1991 Toyota Tercel and a ¼ tank of gas.  I’m sorry, but they just don’t fit the mold of lottery winners.  The lottery is about giving false hope to people with no hope.

When did we get so bad at cheating in youth sports?

LittleLeaguer

Washington Post

Jackie Robinson West, the Chicago-area team that won the U.S. championship in the Little League World Series last summer, has been stripped of its title after an investigation found the team used ineligible players in an attempt to build a super-team.

The Chicago South Side team, whose players were African-American and raised hopes that the game would enjoy a resurgence among young blacks, was found to have used players who live outside its geographic area. On Wednesday morning, Little League International announced its decision, saying that the U.S. championship would now go to the Mountain Ridge team from Las Vegas. Its investigation determined that Jackie Robinson West used a falsified boundary map and that team officials met with neighboring Little League districts in Illinois to claim players.

“As our Little League operations staff learned of the many issues and actions that occurred over the course of 2014 and prior, as painful as this is, we feel it a necessary decision to maintain the integrity of the Little League program. No team can be allowed to attempt to strengthen its team by putting players on their roster that live outside their boundaries.”

Chris Janes, vice president of the Evergreen Park Athletic Association on Chicago’s South Side, told Chicago’s ABC affiliate that his group was suspicious of the super-team, especially after JRW outscored it 43-2 in a little over four innings in a sectional playoff game.

OOOOOH.  The old redistricting trick.  I haven’t seen that move since Gordon Bombay selfishly crushed the career of a budding Adam Banks so that he could play him on a wing next to a shitty skating Charlie Conway…just to silence his inner demons because he once hit the post as a 10 year-old. (Or perhaps because Hans once dropped a digit on him.)  Youth sports are so easy to cheat at it’s surprisingly remarkable how bad some people are at doing it.  By all means, draw your own maps, forge birth certificates, or even sell a couple dozen boxes of crackle candy bars to cover the freight for smuggling some cherubic looking, teen-aged Dominicans into the country to lock down your middle infield.   But whatever you do, DO NOT beat anybody 43-2.  When you quadruple mercy rule someone, it doesn’t matter if you’re cheating or not.  Your vanquished opponent will do whatever they can to crop-dust your trophy case with the stench of their shame.  (See Indianapolis Colts) I’ve seen it a thousand times.

BTW, even though I credited Gordon Bombay above, the real originators of the re-districting move was the sage gentleman over at Callery Park Baseball back in the early 90’s that saw a young @pistoffIrishman in the pipeline of backstops, and realized it would be impossible to make it to Williamsport with a kid trying to signal curveballs with sausage fingers, so they convinced Chelmsford to annex Van Greenby street for the duration of tryouts so they could call up a 9 year old, with power from both sides of the plate.  True story.

Back Off in #Haiku. 2/2-2/7/2015.

image

image

[Please note: decided to work blue this week. That’s just how people sounded. This job has two parts: (1) counting to seventeen and (2) conveying the underlying message. Breaking things down to their simplest and sincerest truths. The callers were angry. I felt that. Also a lot of them seem to believe that houses spontaneously combust. That’d be scary.]

BackTalk 2/2/15

Tiano must leave.
The Board is responsible.
Look at your warrants.

Tiano should pay.
Former manager’s payout?
Not fromour pockets.

Give Wahlberg’s pardon.
We forgive killers and such.
They have no records.

Sound Off 2/2/15

Please buy a snow broom.
Push that snow right off your roof.
Don’t cause accidents.

Streets were all empty.
Snow was lighter than powder.
Plowdrivers still sucked.

Left my purse behind.
Nice folks found it in my cart.
Gave to vets as thanks.

Why pay our taxes?
Have to shovel the sidewalks?
That should be covered.

“Indy contractors.”
So they don’t get benefits.
That’s pretty sleazy.

FairPoint isn’t fair.
Completely antiworker.
Why their service stinks.

Sound Off. 2/3/15.

Info not given.
Hidden from our Selectman.
Complex secretcy.

Blaming Obama.
Middle East falling apart.
As bad as Clinton.

Supreme Court did it.
Citizens United stays.
It is what it is.

Non union workers.
They can also do good work.
Let them make buildings.

Robin Hood & Shakes.
At least Shakespeare existed.
Just like climate change.

Backtalk: 2/3/2015

Reagan was Big Gov.
Raised taxes plenty of times.
Bin Laden’s best bud.

Someone found my keys.
And left them where I’d find them.
They’re freakin’ awesome.

Drug education.
Better than treating addicts.
Home lessons untaught.

Preschool opened quick.
No blizzard stopping these kids.
’cause we care dammit.

Inmate labor’s nice.
But just clear out the hydrants.
Work with your neighbors.

Walking towards cars.
Stopped by a tanker driver.
That was nice of him.

Stabbings will increase.
Maybe not thirty at once.
But gun laws don’t work.

Shov’ling ordinance.
Enforce that sonovabitch..
Belvi kids slippin’.

School sidewalks unclear.
Children become street walkers.
City falls to shame.

Don’t replace the Rourke.
Olympians won’t use it.
Stop wasting taxes.

I like Pete Lucas.
Other readers tease the guy.
But he knows his stuff.

All stores charge more now.
It ain’t just Market Basket.
Try to look around.

“Not Eric Holder?
Okay then the job is yours.”
We need more than that.

Backtalk: 2/4/2015

Glad Patriots won.
Clever headline was written.
Enough with the snow.

Hell of an ending.
Miracle interception.
Gave me a flashback.

Thank you Pete Carroll.
Couldn’t have won without you.
Hallmark has no words.

Chelmsford run by clowns.
We should take our city back.
Break out the pitchforks.

Can’t drop Tiano.
That’d be admitting a wrong.
Real bad legal move.

Tiano must go.
Along with rest of the bums.
What the people want.

Reverse 9-1-1.
Use it for snowstorm info.
Should my trash go out?

Walk streets single file.
I know the sidewalks aren’t plowed
But don’t be a jerk.

Sound Off 2/4/15

Haverhill snow plowers.
Wanted more before the storms.
Bastards ain’t earned squat.

Despite the drama.
Patriots came out on top.
Greatest team alive.

Stop your complaining.
Plows are doing what they can.
That shit’s three feet deep.

Don’t need a walker.
But other old people do.
Make them live elsewhere.

Out-of-town truckers.
Carrying away our snow.
Should hire locals first.

Potential jurors.
Not big on death penalty.
Never lost loved ones.

No one lost their head.
Not when Bush was President.
Obama’s a wuss.

Sound Off 2/5/15

Patriots won clean.
Put away your air gauges.
Your tears make me laugh.

Timberlane School Board.
We’re all really sick of this.
No one speaks Spanish.

I don’t like joggers.
No room in the streets for them.
Get off of my road.

Saturday schooling.
Only way to get it done.
Can’t do summer school.

Patriot’s Butler.
He’s the fella that did it.
Heh… Butler did it.

Roads are terrible.
No excuses for Salem.
Methuen was fine.

Horrible plow job.
The children will all perish.
Need wider pathways.

Backtalk: 2/5/2015

Tell Ross-Sitcawich…
I’m 71 years old.
I ain’t shov’ling shit.

Make them do it right.
City should get what’s paid for.
Make the streets wider.

Global Warming’s fake.
We’ve got seven feet of snow.
That shit ain’t melting.

Granny keeps falling.
Bobcat the downtown sidewalks.
Boston kicks our ass.

Wasn’t really luck.
Pats won by playing sixty.
Jerome Kearse had luck.

Reagan was the balls.
Jimmy Carter not so good.
Just my opinion.

Backtalk: 2/6/2015.

Hundred a day fine.
For not shov’ling a sidewalk.
I’m too old for this.

Put the barrels back.
What if there’s an accident?
Who’s responsible?

Who owns the sidewalk?
That’s who needs to shovel it.
Public property.

Clean up your side steps.
Use some salt if you have to.
Might need that exit.

Been here 50 years.
Chelmsford politics must change.
Stop with the taxes.

Dump snow in the parks.
Can’t see around corner banks.
Too many blind spots.

Abortion’s selfish.
Unjustified homicide.
Blaming Obama.

Despite bad commute,
People are still being nice.
Thank-you for the seat.

Sound Off 2/7/15

Private sector pay.
For mandatory products.
Getting excessive.

Livable wages.
Stop sending good jobs away.
And people will work.

Cedar Street Haverhill.
Wide enough for a Smart car.
Plows aren’t doing squat.

I use a wheelchair.
Sidewalks aren’t really that bad.
Just need access points.

Backtalk 2/7/15

Sidewalks on Bridge Street.
Market Basket fully cleared.
Unlike CVS.

CVS cleared snow.
First time I’ve seen them do that.
Keep up the good work.

Lowell bus issues.
Please post updates on delays.
Modern service needs.

Hackers should do time.
Forty years of hard labor.
Massive deterrent.

Brady was lucky.
Make sure that’s on his tombstone.
That sonovabitch.

Westford roads are good.
Excellent job cleaning them.
You’re the best around.

Back Off in #Haiku. 1/26-1/31/15

image

Backtalk: 1/26/2015

Marky Mark’s pardon.
It he was black they’d give it.
They never do time.

Chelmsford taxpayers.
Fire that damn sonovabitch.
He can’t run our schools.

Pepperell Highway helped.
Removed a recycling bin.
Small request fulfilled.

That cartoonist sucks.
The person from Florida?
Free and overpaid.

Pats in Seattle?
That ain’t where the big game is.
All kinds of problems.

Nothing’s ever free.
Fifty years of high taxes.
Obama degrees.

Bacon scratch tickets.
Hope the payoffs don’t smell good.
I’d never cash it.

Sound Off Jan 26

Pats were innocent.
Investigators found nothing.
Haters run along.

Media trial.
Sportswriters hate winning teams.
Something to prove now.

Methuen taxes.
Making us seniors angry.
I’m a homeowner.

January ends.
Limited amounts of snow.
Budgets still wiped out.

Holy Family.
Polite and professional.
All one could ask for.

Both teams had same balls.
Don’t get what the big deal is.
I’m wicked informed.

Backtalk: 1/27/2015

Reagan and YouTube.
He’d never waste his time there.
He’d have gone to France.

Police logo change.
Made after we bought the cars.
Should have been before.

Cobblestones should go.
They’re ugly and intrusive.
My dad broke a heel.

The Prez hates babies.
Said he’d block H.R. 7.
That makes him pro-death.

Gronkowski spikes balls.
That’s what makes them have less air.
Saw it in a meme.

I’d vote for Romney.
I’m still a true Democrat.
At least he ain’t Bush.

Sound Off 1/27

Not really a gun.
Still counts as armed robbery.
But not possession.

Just mental illness.
She’s not a real Satanist.
Let her get some help.

Guns used for self-harm..
Quickest means for suicide.
No time to rethink.

Leave young kids at home.
They don’t need to see prison.
Hard questions after.

NFL footballs.
Refs should hold them for both teams.
Trust is for suckers.

Timberlane School Board.
Let’s just shut the whole thing down.
No more pettiness.

Sound Off 1/28

Lawrence parking ban.
I’d like to see it enforced.
Plows have work to do,

Don’t quite get the rush.
These are normal household things.
Why wait to buy them?

Clean off your car roof.
Could really cause some problems.
Police should stop you.

Support driving ban.
Makes the plowing easier.
And you won’t get stuck.

Atlantic City.
Casinos never helped it.
Shit hole since day one.

Don’t pick on the Pats.
Have empathy for their fans.
They deserve to win,

Over 55.
Tax break for senior housing.
Not condo owners.

Pay some attention.
Then you’d know ’bout parking bans.
Or at least the storm.

Oughta be a law.
Only essential people,
Can drive during storms.

Enough with the hype.
Just cover the damn weather.
No more preemptions.

’78 yo.
That storm kicked this puppy’s ass.
The moon’s what did it.

’78 yo.
We wanted more pro sports teams.
Let’s build casinos.

About Paterno.
He gave info to his boss.
All you can ask for.

Backtalk: 1/29/2015

Sun writer Feathers.
Nice work on overdoses.
Lucas whines too much.

Overselling storms.
A practice which needs to end.
No one’s buying it.

Walmart in Chelmsford.
Not as good as it could be.
Unenjoyable.

MB price increase.
Have to pay for the buyout.
Understandable.

Should change the slogan.
“More is Less for your Dollar.”
Paying off that debt.

Starving the Russians.
That’s why gas is two dollars.
Increases coming.

Pats cheating is sad.
Why can’t they win honestly?
Cheering for Seahawks.

Backtalk: 1/30/2015

Helped out of snowbank.
Just two random guys out there.
Faith in the humans.

More heroin deaths.
We don’t need a damn pot farm.
Drugs are killing us.

Firefighters clubhouse.
Sidewalks haven’t been shoveled.
Kind of surprising.

We need flame throwers.
The old ones from World War Two.
That’ll melt the snow.

Let inmates shovel.
Drive them to the fire hydrants.
They have it easy.

Old police cruisers.
Huge Buicks and Le Sabres.
That’s what we need now.

Backtalk: 1/31/2015

Stopping at stop signs.
Pretty sure sanders should do that.
Not happening though.

Living on a hill.
Right of way goes to climbers.
That can be tricky.

Side streets don’t look good.
Plowing was impossible.
Home owners lazy.

Billing department.
No longer doing billing.
Have to bill yourself.

High school sports pages.
The Sun should give more box scores.
Like Worcester’s doing.

Tax forms coming slow.
Computers just aren’t that fast.
Faster the old way.

Please don’t call us “guys.”
We’re a table of old broads.
Ladies get respect.

Sound Off: 1/31/2015

Turn off your TV.
Stop crying about what’s on.
Look at your sad life.

Timberlane School Board.
Bunch of immature boob heads.
Bring the old guys back.

Made a call for help.
Methuen folks responded.
Friggin’ love this town.

Snow on a car roof.
Blue lights blinking fast and bright.
Highlight of my week.

I want a tax break.
Old enough but own a house.
Seems pretty backwards.

Shovel out hydrants.
Could be your house that’s burning.
Save firefighters time.

McDonald’s business down.
Backlash for labor issues.
Pay your people more.

Salem school budget.
School Committee can’t change that.
They don’t get a say.